How do we open the hearts of our children after the school day?

Parents usually ask the traditional question to their children after returning from school: “How was your day?” The answer is often very short, such as: “good” or “acceptable”, an unpopular answer that is eager to find out the details of their children’s day.

According to a report published by the American magazine “Time”, experts confirm that parents strongly need information about what their children live daily, not only to check, but to share their emotional and social lives. “Like parents and mothers, we want to know what our children do, how they spend their time, and we aspire to be part of their world,” says Stevie Paquet Perez, a pediatric psychologist at the Children’s Health Center in Dallas.

Experts advise parents not to rush the dialogue as soon as the child enters home, as the child often needs some rest after a long day. Instead of asking questions immediately, an atmosphere of positive communication can be created through warm welcome phrases such as:
– I really miss you!
– I am very happy to return home.
– You came a snack that you’ll be sure you liked.

This entrance relieves stress and the child feels attention, which later pave the way to ask open and unsuccessful questions.

Practical questions to build a dialogue with the child

1. What is the most difficult thing you did today?

This question helps the child to express the challenges he faced, and it also allows parents to share their own experiences and how to overcome difficulties, so the child learns to adapt through role models, not through sermons.

2. What are the rules of your classroom?

This dialogue helps the child to realize that the rules are part of any societal environment, and that adhering to it is necessary. “The goal is to enhance the child’s awareness of the rules and clarify what may be mysterious,” says Alejandra Galindo, family treatment.

3. What is the most fun or exciting event today?

Focusing on the positives develops a sense of gratitude in the child, and gives parents a clearer idea about the things that interest him.

4. Have you felt anxiety or turmoil today?

This question helps children to start understanding and expressing their feelings. It should not be presented on a daily basis, but if the parents notice hesitation or discomfort in the child.

5. When did you feel bored more?

The answer may be revealed by difficulties the child faces, such as feeling lonely during a break or distress from a specific subject.

6. What is the kind work you did or saw today?

Speaking regularly about kindness establishes important values ​​in the child’s behavior, and allows to know how to deal with his peers.

7. Is there anything that worries you about tomorrow?

The child may answer in the negative, but just asking the question shows him that the parents are keen to support him. And if he expresses his concerns, the opportunity becomes available to think together with practical solutions.

In the end, experts stress that the goal is not to “extract” information from the child, but rather building a bridge of confidence and attention that makes him more ready to share the details of his day, small or big.

(Arabic)