Sibling conflict… when competition turns into bullying inside the home

What distinguishes sibling bullying from a regular fight? The difference is fundamental: a normal dispute is based on a temporary emotional response, often followed by remorse or attempts at reconciliation by both parties. As for bullying, it is intentional, repeated, involves an imbalance of power, has a clear absence of empathy, and is intended to cause physical or psychological harm or destroy property. It has tangible effects: increased rates of anxiety and depression, decreased self-esteem, and poor concentration and academic achievement, some of which may continue into adulthood.

How do parents read this danger? Parents should watch for recurring patterns, not isolated incidents: repeated insults, emotional abuse, constant ridicule, or deliberate vandalism of a particular child’s belongings. We must also pay attention to moral bias, that is, showing the appearance of favoritism or favoritism, which generates hatred and fuels the behavior of the bully.

What do parents do in practice? The first essential step is to acknowledge the existence of the problem rather than belittling it with moments of nostalgia or because “it has been with us for a long time.” Effective practical steps include:
– Open a frank dialogue with every child and encourage him to express his feelings without fear of punishment or ridicule.
– Imposing consistent and clear consequences for harmful behavior — not harsh punishments, but procedures that teach responsibility (for example: repairing damage, performing cooperative tasks, or family-supervised reconciliation sessions).
– Avoid giving insulting descriptions to any child, as this deepens division and justifies abuse.
Equal treatment: Even minor differences in attention or praise can spark hatred. Make sure to spend individual time with each one, and explain the reason for any discipline or guidance that it stems from love and the desire to correct behavior, not from rejection.
– Working to modify the family climate: Children learn from the example of their parents. An environment characterized by screaming, insulting, or harsh punishment perpetuates bullying behaviors. Instead, they model calm communication, mutual respect, and fair dispute resolution mechanisms.

Finally, help children understand what motivates their behavior: Is it jealousy? tension? Feeling insecure? Developing emotion regulation skills and providing healthy ways of venting (such as verbal expression, exercise, or creative tasks) may reduce hatred and build mutual trust. Bullying between siblings is not a “phase” that passes quickly every time – it is a behavior that requires a conscious and firm response from the family so that it does not turn into a psychological legacy that crosses generations.