Between teenagers and their families… How do we reduce tension and build bridges of trust?

The lives of teenagers today are surrounded by complexities unknown to previous generations: increasing academic pressures, pressure from social networks, and economic fears about the future, all of which give adolescence an emotionally charged character. Specialized organizations such as Young Minds and mental health experts such as Dr. Margot Sunderland highlight that the isolation or anger displayed by a teenager is not always considered “bad behavior,” but rather it may be a sign of suffering that requires understanding and patience from parents.

Practical tips from experts to enhance communication and resolve conflicts:
1. Show empathy first: Acknowledging the teenager’s feelings and reassuring him that teenage fluctuations are normal helps calm him down and make him feel safe.
2. Avoid defensive positions: Responding with a calm response instead of getting emotional reduces the flaming of the situation and keeps the channels open for dialogue.
3. Listening without rushing to solve: The teenager often needs someone to listen to him, not immediate solutions that may be interpreted as suppressing feelings.
4. Remaining calm during stress: Calmness teaches the teenager how to regulate his emotions and opens the door to imitation.
5. Practical guidance rather than threats: Phrases such as “We won’t leave until you finish your homework” show assertiveness without contempt.
6. Refrain from shouting, whatever the situation: Yelling harms the mental ability to communicate and increases isolation.
7. Understand out of curiosity, not control: Questions that indicate a desire to understand encourage the teenager to open up.
8. Paraphrasing his words: A summary of what he said shows respect and confirms real listening.
9. Be an “easy to talk to” parent: Constant criticism pushes the teenager to look for other refuges.
10. Be patient: The teenage brain is still developing in the late twenties, so realistic expectations and patience are the best long-term investment.

Experts stress that turning teens’ relationships with their parents into a support network does not deprive them of accountability or allow for loosening of boundaries. The balance between firmness and compassion, and the ability to listen and dialogue, is what builds long-term trust and reduces the possibility of looking for harmful outcomes elsewhere.