Russian women suffer mixed feelings waiting for their warriors in Ukraine

The image of the dedicated woman who is waiting for her husband in the war is entrenched in Russian culture, and gives her a romantic touch, starting from the songs of the Soviet era such as (Katyusha), to war films that depict the suffering and patience of the wives of the soldiers.

While women in the past wars were waiting impatiently for the letters, they are making video calls today and exchanged WhatsApp messages with their combat husbands in Ukraine.

Some do this proudly, while others with fear, and many of them with mixed feelings that are difficult to express.

Today, the media and local social media are strengthening this novel from the wives who are waiting for their loved ones to return to their homes, which encourage women to support their husbands without hesitation, but behind these polished images is a complex fact.

Experiences

Three women spoke to the Moscow Times about their experiences as wives of contracting soldiers serving in Ukraine, and each of them runs a blog on the Instagram platform, where her ideas and feelings shared with thousands of followers.

Their various views reflect a society that glorifies the war and fears it at the same time, as waiting is a source of pride and personal suffering at the same time, and they spoke on the condition that their identity is not revealed for fear of their safety.

Voic

In Tomsk, (Anna – 27 years old) plays the role of an officer’s wife with an undesirable commitment, and her husband in Ukraine has been serving for seven months, and unlike many, (Anna) avoids reading news.

She says, “I do not need to know what is happening … My husband tells me everything I need to know,” and she adds with a fixed and confident voice: “I am waiting for his calls, and this is enough.”

Soon after he went to the battlefield, (Anna) launched a “Instagram” blog to share the stories of steadfastness and national pride, and in her publications she writes about her lack of her husband, but also about the pride that she feels to know that he is “defending Russia”, and when she was asked about who he defends him specifically, she answered without hesitation: “The Russians in Ukraine”.

And she says: “Every night, I ignite a candle and pray for it.” Following up: “I believe with all my heart that what it does is the right thing .. This waiting is the first confrontation line for me, its duty there, and my duty here.”

And (Anna) sees her waiting, just as she sees her husband’s service, and she does not work, so her husband entered her enough, and for her to be a military wife not just a role .. but an identity.

(Anna) is admired by Russia, describing it as “the best country in the world”, and for it there is no doubt, but only faith.

A tone of surrender

For (Yulia – 24 years old, residing in Saint Petersburg, the experience is different, as she never wanted her husband to sign a contract with the army.

“I asked him not to do that, but he did not listen, he wanted to pay our real estate loan faster,” she says in a gossip.

Before joining the army, the (Liwali) husband worked an electrician with a salary of $ 735 per month, and obtained a reward of 22,000 dollars in exchange for signing the contract.

(Yulia) runs a blog trying to preserve a positive tone, so jokes are released from being a “military wife” and publishes sarcastic pictures, but behind her virtual personality, Yulia suffers from the “emotional burden” that he imposes on her.

“I am joking about it online, but I cry at night, and I feel terrifying whenever the phone rang, and I am afraid to receive a call telling me that he was killed or wounded,” she admits.

And you remember their last conversation before his departure: “He grabbed my face with his hands and said: This is for our sake, for the sake of our future, but which future we will have if he does not return? Sometimes I feel like I am trained to be a widow. ”

(Yulia) admits that she is trying to understand what causes men to war, and says: “For them, it may be about honor, and it may be about a deep male nature … I do not know, I try to be supportive, but it is difficult.”

Despite her fears, Yulia feels stuck in the cycle of waiting, as war is something that she cannot escape from, no matter how she tries to preserve “the illusion of normal life.”

Personal suffering

(Maria – 31 years old) did not want her husband to go to war, and their marriage, who was one day built on common values, shaken his roots when he changed his position on the conflict, and says in a tainted bitterness: “We were against her from the beginning, and we even thought about immigration, but with the passage of time he changed his position.”

When her husband signed a military contract, Maria felt destroyed.

She added, “We were involved in a sharp fight, and I begged him not to go, but he did not listen, and now people ask me at work: Why did I leave him? As if I had a choice. ”

After his departure, (Maria) was depressed, and in that she says: “I had a complete nervous breakdown, and now I am eating antidepressants.”

Before the war, the couple was planning to form a large family, and now you feel comfortable because they did not do, and she says: “I cannot imagine raising a child in this situation, it is terrifying.” The most obstacle (Maria) is not only waiting, but the following, and as a psychiatrist, who realizes the deep impact of the war on the human psyche. About “Moscow Times”

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Symbols of power and patriotism

The experiences of every woman from the wives of Russian soldiers in Ukraine are not only formed through their personal relations, but also through the broader narratives that are built around them, and social media plays a crucial role in preserving the image of the sincere military wife.

Telegram channels, supporting the Kremlin, and the influencers of “Instagram”, celebrate these women, and depict them as symbols of power and patriotism.

Likewise, government -backed initiatives encourage women to persist in their support by organizing events, and even distributing medals to the “ideal” military wives.

The expectation is clear: they should wait, and they must do this proudly, but behind this interface many suffer, and the economic incentives, which drive men, often leave the men to recruit, leave their families in a state of emotional turmoil.

The glorification of waiting does not leave room for doubt, fear, or sadness, and for wives who publicly oppose war, isolation may be unbearable.

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Panic

“Maria” suffers from isolation due to the absence of her husband. Reuters

“I know what the fighting can do with a person,” said Maria, the wife of a Russian soldier in Ukraine.

Maria describes her husband’s case during a recent video call that she left in a state of panic: “His eyes were different and average, he was telling me about his day as if he was reading an air bulletin, then I realized that I had already lost him, little by little.”

Maria strives to distract herself, avoiding the news from her husband whenever possible, and she no longer believed in the story of love that she once thought they were sharing.

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Psychological consequences

The wives of the soldiers try to overcome their feelings. Reuters

A psychiatrist residing in Moscow, specialized in psychological trauma, asked not to disclose her identity for the sensitivity of the topic: “These women (the wives of Russian soldiers in Ukraine) suffer from expected sadness, grief over a person who is still alive, and the community dictates to them to have strength, but denial of these feelings may lead to severe psychological consequences.” While waiting has always been part of the war, but in Russia Modern waiting and marketing it is a matter of pride, but under the surface the reality is often full of doubt, fear and loss.

While (Anna) ignites her night candle, Yulia is creating another comic leaflet, and (Maria) stares at her husband, who is getting more surprising through video calls, and all of them are posts in this waiting culture, each of them pays the price of a war that she did not choose, but nevertheless turned their lives upside down.

. The view of the various wives of the military reflects a “glorifying” war and fear it at the same time.

. One of the wives: I feel that I am stuck in the cycle of waiting, as war is something that cannot be escaped.