Colleague gifts…from a “loving gesture” to an “embarrassing” social obligation

The gifts that employees exchange in the work environment have become a social custom that reflects feelings of love and appreciation, but they have become a recurring financial burden, with the increase in occasions and the rise in the value of gifts, especially those purchased from international brands.

Employees in government and private agencies confirmed that the idea of ​​“collective joy” began with beautiful spontaneity, aiming to share with colleagues their happy occasions, but it gradually turned into something resembling a commitment, which puts people with limited income in an embarrassing position, due to the exaggeration of the value of contributions and the repeated calls to participate.

They pointed out that some departments do not set a specific ceiling for contributions, but that does not prevent people from feeling pressure, especially when the gift turns into a means of comparison or bragging, instead of remaining a symbolic expression of appreciation and participation.

In detail, an employee at a government agency, Dana Ahmed, stated that she does not oppose the idea of ​​exchanging gifts between colleagues, but rather sees it as a beautiful human aspect, but the repetition of events in one month and their high value constitute a burden on some employees.

She added: “On more than one occasion, I felt that the requested amount actually helped a colleague, especially the celebration held for employees who bid farewell to the institution, but other times, payment is obligatory and I cannot apologize due to embarrassment.”

She explained that gifts in the past were symbolic, such as a ring or a bouquet of flowers, but today their value may reach thousands of dirhams, and the employee’s share of the required amount ranges between 200 and 500 dirhams.

She said: “On my birthday, female colleagues bring luxurious gifts and I feel grateful, but I find myself forced to participate at the same or greater level, even if my circumstances do not allow it.”

An employee at a private entity, who preferred to remain anonymous, said that men are not excluded from participating in paying for gifts, especially on occasions of promotion, retirement, or return from a long medical leave, pointing out that the value of the contribution may reach 800 or 900 dirhams, and sometimes exceeds 1,200 dirhams. The situation is more difficult when there is more than one occasion in the same month, explaining that “the matter is not limited to the gift, but sometimes extends to hosting a lunch to celebrate the occasion.” She stated that “embarrassment does not differentiate between men and women, as we often find ourselves forced to pay, even if the budget does not allow for it, because the apology may be perceived negatively.” She added that the size of the group affects the value of the contribution, as the smaller the number of participants, the greater the value of the payment, and vice versa, noting that “the person who arranges the gift is usually the Close to the celebrated employee, which creates sensitivities among colleagues.

An employee in the government sector, Sheikha Al-Zahmi, believes that “exchanging gifts between colleagues has a positive spirit in its essence, but it raises uncomfortable sensitivities within the work environment, as every employee has begun to measure his status by the type of gift he is given, and this bothers some people, especially when the value of the gifts varies from one occasion to another.” She explained that some female employees refuse to receive gifts from their colleagues, and say frankly: “I do not want to give gifts except to those close to me,” noting that writing the names of the participants and the amount paid increases Of embarrassment, they make some people prefer to withdraw or be absent from the event.

An employee at a government agency, Moza Muhammad Al-Dhabhi, said that her organization is keen to promote a positive work environment, but at the same time, it sets clear controls, including employees’ pledge not to accept gifts that may be interpreted as a form of “bribes,” pointing out that she is not opposed to coddling between female and male colleagues, “but this matter must stem from awareness, and whoever does not wish to participate is not forced to do so, even though the embarrassment remains.”

She confirmed that “some departments collect sums of up to 500 dirhams to buy luxury bags for Christmas, despite the disparity between employees in salaries. Some colleagues have begun to avoid participating or even attending, due to the embarrassment of not being able to pay.” Regarding her contributions to work gifts, she said: “At the beginning of each month we pay 300 dirhams for daily lunch, and 500 dirhams for invitations, and whoever does not pay does not eat lunch. However, sometimes the employee is forced to pay an amount Specific, and this makes the initiative lose its true meaning.”

Halima Ahmed Saif Al Naqbi said that what male and female employees do, exchanging gifts and participating in colleagues’ events, is a natural extension of the authentic Emirati customs that society grew up with, which exalt the value of solidarity and compassion among people.

She added: “We are a people raised to be afraid, and to share in joy and sadness, and a gift for us is not measured by material value, but rather it is a means of expressing love and respect, whether it is simple or luxurious.”

She explained that this behavior has moved from homes to institutions, because the employee is ultimately a child of his environment, carrying with him its values ​​and traditions, noting that “good intentions” are the origin, and that generosity is not imposed or measured, but is offered according to ability.

She continued: “Joy cannot be divided and the gift cannot be compared. Whoever shares from his heart does not look at the amount, but rather at its impact on the souls of others. The important thing is that the spirit remains good, and that the exchange of gifts does not turn into a burden or bragging, because the basis is usually appreciation, not competition. If we return to our roots, we will find that the simplest gifts made hearts happy, and that a kind word and an honest gesture are more expensive than any brand.”

For her part, Human and Administrative Development Consultant and Trainer, Dr. Laila Habib Al-Balushi, confirmed that “conciliation between colleagues” reflects the spirit of Emirati generosity and love of participation, but she stressed the need to achieve balance, to preserve its moral value, and not turn it into a financial burden or a means of comparison.

She said that the phenomenon of exchanging gifts between employees stems from good intentions, but it has turned into an unwritten institutional behavior that carries with it financial and psychological pressure, and creates sensitivities within the work environment, adding that this type of behavior is not considered a law within the human resources regulations, but is classified within the societal culture that is formed from the norms circulating among employees, and transmitted to the institution automatically.

Al-Balushi continued: “Participation in gifts must be done willingly, and from a heart that wants to share the joy of colleagues, but the problem lies in the absence of a financial ceiling and the repetition of events, which exhausts some people financially, especially in light of life’s obligations and the economic circumstances that each individual employee goes through, from paying vehicle installments to children’s schools and so on.”

She explained that there are institutions that do not specify the value of the contribution, leaving the matter to the discretion of the employee, which is a positive matter, provided that the collection of amounts is in a way that preserves privacy and avoids embarrassment or comparison, preferring that the events not be repeated more than once a month, and that the occasions be combined into one symbolic celebration, to reduce the financial and psychological pressure on the employees, as it does not make sense for the gift to turn into a means of bragging or competition, or for it to be used as a means of flattery and accessibility.

Al-Balushi warned that this behavior may create social isolation and disagreements within the organization, especially when the value of gifts varies or contributions are announced publicly, which weakens team spirit and affects the work environment. She stressed that the gift must remain symbolic and express feelings of appreciation, not purchasing power, especially since every employee has his own circumstances, and he may be able to participate this month and apologize next month. Pressure and coercion empty the idea of ​​its meaning and turn joy into a burden.

• Colleague gifts are classified within the societal culture shaped by norms and are automatically transmitted to the organization.