“Children’s silence” on special occasions is a “blatant” indicator of bad experiences

Doctors and specialists warned of the phenomenon of “children’s silence” on occasions, pointing out the possibility of hidden dangers behind this silence, and explained to “Emirates Al-Youm” that it is a dangerous indicator that may hide psychological and social dimensions. They attributed it to three main reasons: psychological, developmental, familial, and social.

They pointed out that the psychological and developmental causes include anxiety, extreme shyness, social phobia, selective mutism, and the autism spectrum, in addition to the effects of psychological trauma such as bullying, harassment, constant humiliation, or social exclusion.

Family reasons include disagreements between parents, lack of dialogue and emotional support, or fear of conveying home problems in gatherings, in addition to feelings of confusion, due to competition or emotional division between parents.

As for societal and cultural reasons, they include the language gap resulting from foreign education, or families’ reliance on non-Arabic-speaking nannies, in addition to the excessive use of smart devices, and the absence of normal interaction with peers and family.

In detail, psychologist Dr. Reham Ammar said that the interpretation of children’s silence in family gatherings has changed significantly with the development of upbringing methods and societal openness. “In the past, it was seen in the presence of adults as praiseworthy behavior indicative of shyness and modesty, and it was considered a sign of good upbringing. But today, with the cultural changes and great openness that society is witnessing, silence no longer has the same meaning, but rather is presented as a sign that requires attention, especially if it is accompanied by anxiety, introversion, or weak social skills.

She added, “The current environment has become rich in interaction, which gives children expression and communication skills from an early age.” Therefore, a child’s silence in some social contexts may be an indication of a condition that requires psychological evaluation.”

She explained that natural shyness gradually decreases with familiarity, and often appears in new situations and gradually disappears, while social phobia is more general, as we find the child remaining silent with his family, friends, relatives, and at school. She continued: “Even if the environment is familiar to him, he shows symptoms of anxiety and tension, and cannot speak easily. This is a different case from selective mutism, where the child speaks fluently in certain situations, and is completely silent in others, and is often associated with specific people or places.

She stressed the existence of clear psychological criteria through which it is possible to determine whether silence is a transient behavior or an indicator of a condition that requires therapeutic intervention, including: if the silence disrupts the child’s academic performance or limits his family and social integration, or if it is accompanied by symptoms such as anxiety, sadness, sweating, trembling, or stuttering speech.

She warned that silence may sometimes be a psychological reaction to a harmful experience, such as bullying or harassment.

She explained that silence may be a way to express unexpressed sadness or anger, and sometimes it appears as selective silence, which requires parents to be aware and notice any change in the child’s behavior.

She called for enhancing the child’s self-confidence, by providing a safe environment in which he feels loved and accepted away from criticism, stressing the need to appreciate his small attempts, motivate him to communicate, social integration, express his feelings without criticism, teach him simple communication skills, and give him opportunities to make small decisions to enhance his independence and self-confidence, and support his social interaction.

Cultural gap

Educational expert and family consultant, Dr. Amina Al-Majed, stated that children’s silence on special occasions, especially when it is accompanied by a lack of participation or a tense response to questions, may indicate deeper family problems, affecting the child’s self-confidence and negatively impacting his social interaction.

She said that many children today are silent because they are afraid of a parent’s reactions, or they feel that their speech may attract blame, or they may be held accountable for it later.

She added that a child who sees his parents in a state of constant tension, or lives in a family environment dominated by marital silence or disagreements, loses security, and is afraid to speak in front of others, so as not to reveal problems inside the home, or misrepresent his family in front of others.

She emphasized that one of the reasons for silence is also the linguistic and cultural gap that expands with children’s early education in foreign schools, and their dependence on the English language for communication, which makes them miss their distinctive cultural character and use expressions that are unfamiliar to their cultural milieu.

She said: “We see children at the age of 15 who cannot speak their mother tongue, and do not memorize social vocabulary that is used automatically in some situations. They do not know how to welcome guests, for example, nor how to respond to questions directed to them, because their education was entirely in English, and their upbringing was isolated from the cultural environment.”

She pointed out that “raising children by non-Arabic speaking domestic workers, and not having peers of the same identity and environment around them, doubles the size of the problem, due to the fragility of their connection to their community linguistically and culturally.”

She added, “Small families have become closed in on themselves, and visits between family and relatives are rare, which deprives children of contact with their relatives and acquaintances, and of the opportunity to practice customs and traditions that are acquired through interaction.”

She pointed out that “family tension, or competition between spouses over who is closest to the children, may confuse the child and make him feel lost and emotionally divided, so he prefers to remain silent and stay away from social situations.”

She emphasized that a child’s silence, if left unattended, may turn into chronic introversion, and in the future make him a person who fears speaking in front of people and lacks confidence and the ability to interact.

She stressed that treating this behavior begins with observing and paying attention to any changes that occur in children, avoiding marital disputes in front of them, not involving them in any conflicts, and creating an authentic environment for the child by encouraging him to play and interact with his peers and members of his community, instilling social concepts through role models and daily practice, and involving them in social activities that enhance their identity and increase their self-confidence.

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Modern technology

Pediatric consultant, Dr. Amal Al-Jabri, confirmed that modern technology, and exposing the child to watching television and other smart devices and screens,

Long hours of work cause a deficiency in his social skills, which makes him unable to integrate and keep up with interactions, and causes him to remain silent in family gatherings.

She added that the virtual world makes the child create a world of virtual friends, interests, and participation, which makes him lose interest in the real world.

She explained that the American Pediatric Society has identified major ways in which technology affects a child’s development, the most important of which is that the time he spends in front of screens reduces the opportunities for verbal and social interaction with his parents, while research has proven that there is a direct relationship between the child’s language development and the amount of time the parents spend talking to him daily.

She added that studies indicate that children watching television before the age of three years is associated with the appearance of sleep disturbances and mood swings, which are factors that indirectly affect the child’s language development and emotional reactions.

She pointed out that the time a child spends with screens comes at the expense of reading and interacting with books, which has a negative impact on the development of his linguistic and cognitive skills in the future. A child who is not accustomed to books and reading often has a decline in his reading abilities compared to his peers who are less exposed to screens.

She stated that some studies have shown that children who started watching television before completing their first year, and are exposed to screens for more than two hours a day, are six times more likely to have language delay compared to children who started watching in their second year, even if the programs shown are marketed as educational.

She warned that silence becomes worrying when parents notice that the child is not showing significant progress in these stages, or if he suddenly stops speaking after he was speaking normally, indicating that the possible reasons for this range from psychological factors such as extreme shyness or selective silence, to organic causes such as hearing, speech, and letter articulation disorders, or developmental disorders such as the autism spectrum.

Protection of children

Lawyer and legal advisor Issa bin Haider confirmed that the silence of children, especially sudden or unjustified isolation, is evidence that requires vigilance and immediate protection measures.

He continued that the “Wadeema” Child Rights Law stipulates that reporting is a general duty when there is something threatening the child’s safety, and a strict duty on educators, doctors, and specialists. Reporting is mandatory for them, and failure to do so exposes them to criminal accountability. It also obliges educational institutions to establish confidential channels for reports, and clear programs for dealing with suspicion, within the child protection policies approved in schools, and in a manner consistent with The executive regulations and rules of the federal and local educational authorities in the country.

He added, “The child has inherent rights to expression and psychological and social protection, and he has the right to express his opinions in a manner appropriate to his age and maturity, while preserving his dignity and privacy, and preventing any arbitrary interference in his life.” The law prohibits any action that affects his emotional or psychological security.”

He continued: “Neglect, mistreatment, bullying, or exploitation are dangers that require immediate intervention, while ensuring the confidentiality and protection of the informant’s identity. Child protection units also have the powers of preventive and therapeutic intervention and coordination with the family and the school.”

He explained that if it is proven that an educational institution or guardian has caused negligence or psychological pressure in the child’s forced silence or serious psychological harm, criminal, administrative and civil liability is imposed. Actions that endanger the child’s psychological well-being are prohibited, and the failure of those responsible to report is a violation punishable by law with a fine or imprisonment. Schools are also subject to the oversight of regulatory authorities, and can be held disciplinary accountable and required to make corrective plans and compensation. The injured party when the damage and causation are proven.

Signs of silence

– Disruption of academic performance.

– Poor family or social integration.

– The appearance of disturbing psychological symptoms such as sadness, anxiety, sweating, and trembling.

– Stuttering in speech.

– Sudden withdrawal from interaction, after the child has been social.

• The virtual world makes the child create a world of virtual friends, interests, and contributions, which makes him lose interest in the real world.